It's 3.30am here but I can't sleep for two reasons: (1) There is a possum on my roof making a lot of noise - yes California friends, you have raccoons, we have possums; and (2) I feel pretty good for the 1st time in 2 weeks and feel the urge to channel it. This is strange actually because I had a chemo infusion yesterday (no fainting but dang it was painful - Oxyplatin). Is it possible my body is developing a chemo addiction and I actually feel better after getting it ?
By feeling good I mean I no longer feel like there is an angry mole in my large intestine trying to burrow out. And I don't feel like I'm pushing a tennis ball - okay, I'm exaggerating, let's say a good sized plum - up my bum everytime I sit down. And I'm no longer walking on hot coals. Haven't taken my strong painkillers (I've been initiated in the world of oxycodone) since the weekend.
As an aside, I get asked a lot by doctors and nurses to "decribe the pain / sensation". I often find this extremely difficult but I've found it's a whole new creative outlet. "Agry borrowing mole" was my Tenesmus analogy. "How I imagine feeling post coital if visited in my sleep by a friendly, gentle gay angel" was my off the cuff description when asked by a doctor how I felt after my colonoscopy (the reaction made me take a mental note to rein myself in when talking to doctors...but I've found nurses love it). Plum - you guessed it, you see these are good analogies - hemorroids, a show I won't be buying tickets for again anytime soon if I can avoid it. "Walking on hot coals" - that's hand / foot syndrome.
So yes, it's going to be a good day, and although it's school holidays the girls have an all day play date (I love you Nina & Simon).
Here's my agenda for today just to give you a sense of my exciting life at the moment. Sometime soon I'll write about my cancer spreadsheet - essentially my track 1 / track 2 project plan. You know, I used to use the term 'anal' a lot, in the context of being 'annally retentive'. For example, I was about to write that those who know me well know that I'm extremely anal when it comes to having a plan. However after being diagnosed with colon cancer I've found there are whole sections of my lexicon that need revision. For example if I said that I'm annally retentive now in the wrong place and the wrong time, there are people who might actually think I'm retaining something in my anus.
Anyway, to-do list for today:
- Finish will and get it back to lawyer
- Start video library for kids
- Confirm air conditioning install for house (I'm finally giving up - Sydney is just too hot)
- Progress book projects for dad
- Holiday planning (we've booked a pre-surgery week long holiday on the South Coast from Oct 9th. Also serves as advance celebration of dad's 70th and Madé and my 36th's. Very excited. The scrooge in me would never normally rent a house like this, but hey, you only live once...and you don't know for how long). I was originally thinking Bali or Thailand but a doctor pointed out that I won't get travel insurance if I have any treatment related issues - so we're staying close to home.
- Confirm cooking course (we're moving to a plant based died, so signed up for an Indian vegetarian course).
- Think about land plan (this remains our biggest open question post diagnosis)
Enjoy your days all !